Frustration

First, an aside. As I look at my blog, I have Google Ads for Save the Marriage and Find Singles in Your Area...kinda ironic to me. Anyway...

I have a policy of not posting about things that go on where I work. I will stretch, but not break, that policy in this post.

Today, I feel the beginnings of frustration. Not at my company, or anyone within it; instead I feel frustration about what I am doing. I feel my current role in the company is as a firefighter, perhaps a stop gap. I am someone they bring in to fix problems quickly. Spend a day on this, spend a week here, get this to run, now help out here, etc... While that can be fun for a short period of time, I much prefer the longer term project that I can work on from the beginning. I think the reason is because I prefer the design phase of the project. With my current projects, I have been brought in to either work on code that has already been designed or create code that doesn't need designing because it is just proof of concept.

Don't get me wrong, that type of coding has its advantages. One is that there are large periods where you are waiting on jobs to run, etc... So, I get some time to work on educational materials, read periodicals, or just think. I definitely enjoy that freedom, but I miss the architecture. I miss starting from an empty pallete and creating what I hope is a masterpiece. Note that I don't miss the release phase, that's a royal pain in the rear :-)

I'm beginning to feel I'm in the wrong place. I love my team, my bosses are great, but I fear the time to move on is near. The questions are mounting: how do I find a project that hasn't already begun? How do I get involved with it? Should I stay where I am and hope for the best? What will be best for my career? Do I even have a career? I have serious problems with that last one. I try my hardest to rock the boat in a positive manner. I feel, from talking to people, that is a serious faux pas for career movement. However, I don't want to change too much. I feel that I try to make a positive impact and sometimes being loud is the only way to accomplish that. Over time I'll probably learn more tactful methods, then perhaps I should start over at a new company and work my way up. Hmm...methinks I am rambling...

Back on subject, I'm not sure how long I can bear frustration; the bad part is I get frustrated quite easily :-) I'm pretty sure I can hold out for a year. My wife is done with nursing school then. That gives us the perfect opportunity to make a change. The important thing to do now is prepare for that change. What do I want to do next? What can I do to better ready myself for that? There are many questions and few answers...right now I'd love to just have a new project to call my own - no code attached :-)